Pascal Demurger (MAIF): Bernard Arnaud’s wallet, Mathieu Ricard’s heart!

Indeed Nicolas, while I was complaining yesterday that Léa did not receive enough international stars in the studio, stars from whom I could ask for dedications to then sell them on the BONCOIN, me who was complaining about not having met Pénélope Cruz yesterday , here is the boss of the MAIF: Pascal “Demurgeeeer”!

I don’t know how much an autograph from you is negotiated on the Boncoin but in my opinion it’s not yet this month that I will be able to redo my kitchen… On your Pascal prize list, no Césars, no Oscars but 4 “ Insurance Trophies!”
2014, 2016, 2018, 2019, you are “the Isabelle Huppert of the bonus-malus”… And it’s deserved: in 10 years you have made MAIF a company “with a mission” as they say: concerned about its employees, of society and the environment. In 2020, while confinement caused the number of road accidents to drop, MAIF even decided to redistribute 100 million euros to its members!

it allowed Dominique Seux to buy his first Porsche! Oh no, the MAIF is an incredible company, for a long time I was confused with Emmaüs! The Abbé Pierre next to you is Jeff Bezos! Especially since with your employees you practice “trust management” based, I quote, “on the benevolence and fulfillment of employees”… If only certain leaders could be inspired by this method, when we know that here Demorand constantly reminds us that he is… “the boss, the boss, the BOSS!”

We understand. No, it’s no coincidence that MAIF has been NUMBER 1 in customer relations in the insurance sector for 18 years! Note Pascal that I’m making a fuss of it, I really hope you’ll get me a good price for my Punto. No, it’s no coincidence, I said, that MAIF is number 1 in customer relations. I also hope for them that the bakers are at MAIF…

– Hello Maif?

– Yes dear member, what can I do for you?

– Well, I’m a baker and I was wondering if there was compensation for professional expenses provided for in the event of soaring energy prices?

– No, unfortunately you have not subscribed to this option but you are at the MAIF so know that our boss Pascal Demurger will himself compensate you out of his pocket by typing in his PEL!

– Awesome.

– Yes HE is awesome. Bernard Arnaud’s wallet, the heart of Matthieu Ricard! And in addition, the Maif insures you against the 2nd scourge that is hitting bakers at the moment: puns on bakers! “So if a baker coughs, it’s the Elysée Palace that catches a cold and the government is in trouble…”, “the government at the bakers’ bedside so that the pension reform doesn’t end up in pieces!” »

For each crappy pun, the Maif compensates you with 15 euros! Note that unfortunately the Maif does not insure you against the valves of Dominique Seux, who there – they are off-scale: “Between the government and the telecom operators, the gloves are not hanging up. Hang up, do you have it? » Nico « yes. »

It may well be number 1 in customer relations, but MAIF can’t do everything either.

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Pascal Demurger (MAIF): Bernard Arnaud’s wallet, Mathieu Ricard’s heart!