Forget the theory of relativity. When it comes to deciphering the universe, nothing is more mysterious than human beings. Fortunately, German-born physicist and world-renowned genius Albert Einstein left behind his own theory of happiness and love fulfillment, and no, he has nothing to do with physics.
After 95 years, an anonymous seller put two notes by the Nobel Prize-winning prodigy up for auction in October 2017. While they sold for a whopping $1.8 million, his handwritten advice was priceless.
As the story goes, Einstein was on a lecture tour in Tokyo in 1922 when a Japanese courier delivered a message to him at the Imperial Hotel. Realizing he didn’t have enough change to tip the messenger, he took out a pen and jotted down some life advice..
Those two tips: “A quiet and modest life brings more joy than the pursuit of success linked to constant malaise,” he wrote in German at the Imperial Hotel Tokyo. “Where there is a will, there is a way,” says the second, written on a blank piece of paper.
When Einstein delivered the advice, he added a little joke: “Maybe if you’re lucky, those notes will become much more valuable than a simple tip,” says the seller, who is a relative of the courier. There is definitely some genius behind that simple wisdom, we explain it to you.
As Erich Fromm points out, in his book the ‘Art of Loving’, love is a complex feeling that comes in different wrappers and behaviors, depending on the person it is addressed to. Brotherly love (for humanity) is not the same as maternal/paternal love, erotic love, love of God, or love felt for oneself.
The love of a couple arises from the attraction of two subjects who feel good being together and in whom there is the will and commitment to stay together. However, Fromm says that sometimes people reduce love to pure attraction. Namely, they feel in love simply because they are attracted to someone.
Fromm says that love “is easily confused with the explosive experience of ‘falling in love’, the sudden collapse of the barriers that existed until then between two strangers. But, as we pointed out earlier, such an experience of sudden intimacy is, by its very nature, short-lived.
According to Fromm, true love is not only attraction, but also will and commitment: “Loving someone is not merely a powerful feeling, it is a decision, it is a judgement, it is a promise.. If love were only feeling, there would be no basis for the promise to love each other forever. A feeling begins and can disappear. How can I judge that it will last forever, if my act does not imply judgment and decision?
Love, commitment and satisfaction
More recently, Susan Sprencher of the University of Illinois published in 1999 the results of a four-year study of 101 couples on love. At the end of it, 40% of couples who participated in the study remained together, while the other 60% ended their relationship. Sprencher then analyzed what characterized couples who stayed together and what happened to those who broke up.
Upon analysis, Sprencher found that couples who stayed together reported that their willingness, satisfaction, and feeling grew over time. While the couples who broke up attributed their breakup to a reduction in positive feelings: decreased satisfaction was the main cause, followed by a decreased sense of commitment and finally by decreased sentiment.
Even among the couples who ended their relationship, some commented that the feeling lasted even after the breakup, which reinforces Fromm’s idea that love is not pure feeling but also will and commitment. These are 6 signs that you or your partner have commitment problems.
The art of Loving
The will is what moves the person to work for the relationship, to take care of it, to be patient, to understand it, and since satisfaction is not free, it is sought and fought for..
Throughout life there are many external events, many circumstances (economic crisis, work demands, death of a family member, birth of a family member with a disability) that can challenge a relationship. The difference between those who maintain their relationship and those who end it lies in their will and spirit to stay together, working towards satisfaction.
Well, as Fromm says, love is an art, and if you want to love, you need to love, enjoy and commit to this art.
With information from rd.com Albert Einstein’s Secret to Happiness Was Revealed—and It’s Genius Y The universe
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Albert Einstein’s Secret to Happiness Revealed, and It’s Cool