Cold in the soul – The Capital

I wonder which of all the forms of violence experienced by women at home, causes more damage? I don’t know if you agree with me or not, but I’m almost sure that it’s indifference, that form of punishment that annuls the possibility of expressing her feelings and emotions, that annuls her, that makes her invisible.

It closes the door to a healthy coexistence, where each one can manifest with freedom to be, to do, to decide, to establish as a way of life, the endless conflict of half words, misunderstandings and assumptions.

Applying “the law of the ice”, as it is commonly known to ignore the presence of those who share our days, with all that this entails, is nothing more than withdrawing from the relationship when something does not go well, as a form of blackmail or manipulation, as a display of power and control.

George Bernard Shaw, Irish writer, Nobel Prize for Literature in 1925, expresses it brilliantly, he says: “the worst sin towards our fellow men is not to hate them, but to treat them with indifference: that is the essence of inhumanity”.

Being without being, avoiding not only the conversation, but also the look and the encounter, the presence itself, destroys the harmony and sends a message of disinterest, of abandonment. Needs and emotions are ignored, requests or suggestions are ignored. The great absences, a caress, a word of encouragement, question day by day being loved or simply needed.

Living in the midst of a burning silence not only represents a path to loneliness, but also to emotional and physical exhaustion. Going from love to lack of love, from the great manifestations of affection to the coldest indifference, at the most unexpected moment and seeing the days, weeks and even months go by, without the slightest interest in giving an explanation, an apology, destroys the relationship.

Yes, I am convinced, indifference is one of the greatest forms of violence suffered by women in their relationship. It is an unequal fight in which she sees herself without a real possibility of resolving the conflict, because she never knows what causes it. She is alone, her and her guesses. There is no communication bridge that allows a solution.

Those who are subjected to this situation periodically, gradually escalate their levels of stress and anxiety, sadness and depression, suffering serious damage to their self-esteem and physical health.

In the midst of a thousand questions, he tries to find the explanation for the conflict, without finding a logical reason. And when she feels she can’t take it anymore, that the situation has overwhelmed her, suddenly, without a specific event taking place, suddenly, she smiles back at her partner, the love, the details, as if nothing had ever happened. .

He never knew why they stopped talking to him, he never told him. Just as the rejection, the suffering, the devaluation, the uncertainty and even the feeling of guilt began, in the same way now the details and consideration reappear.

It seems that a pretext was simply sought to provoke a situation to define who is the strongest, who is in control in a manifest power struggle. Sometimes it becomes more evident, when the woman achieves success or external recognition. She tries to make her invisible, nullifying her ability and her intelligence. By stopping talking to her, she avoids paying attention to what she says, what she thinks, what she feels, minimizing the scope of her achievements and refusing to share them.

Psychologists frame this behavior as emotional abuse, since it intentionally seeks to manipulate or harm the woman. This passive violence slowly destroys her, without her even realizing it, because her responsiveness is compromised in the midst of the confusion of her feelings.

There are no screams, no blows, but there are wounds that cannot be seen. Some neurological studies prove the existence of some changes in the brain and headaches, migraines, damage to the digestive system and the appearance of insomnia and fatigue are common, and can even lead to more serious problems that put life at risk. itself, such as increased blood pressure, diabetes and cancer.

Sometimes a few hours of silence is healthy when in a discussion you have to pause before offending the loved one; but using it as a means of control or punishment is still violence against women.

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