La Seño María: The flat in the north

El Chato Matta came to the restaurant for his beans with his dried goat on top, grained white rice and his pitcher of lemonade with lemon verbena. “María, this little breast is excited because for February of next year a great salsa concert with La Sonora Ponceña, Niche and the historic uncles from El Gran Combo will be announced. I will never forget his theme: ‘But how wrong is it to love a woman who is jealous’. A girl with those characteristics accompanied me on a volcanic vacation on my trip to the north. She was my ‘unconditional’ and her name was Vania. That summer I was ‘earned’ in the ministry, they paid me my salary, bonus, some succulent accruals and on top of that I got a number from the board. My initial destination was Los Órganos, at that time, a beautiful but little known spa. When we arrived, I regretted going with Vania, a beautiful and intelligent brunette from Cinco Esquinas who had promised me: ‘Amochito, I swear I’m not going to make you any jealous scene, take me, we’re going to have a great time.’ I naively believed him.

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In Órganos we found a beautiful ‘resort’, facing the sea, painted white, with an outdoor swimming pool and jacuzzi, owned by Russians! The place was beautiful, but the best thing about that whole scene was the Russian doll-faced in a little thong who had been checking me out from the pool since we arrived. She was the owner along with two of her fearsome-looking countrymen. Then we toured all the tourist attractions on the Piura coastline. Paita, Colán, Lobitos, Cabo Blanco. In the latter, where the legendary hotel still worked, where the great novelist and Nobel Prize winner Ernest Hemingway made mythical revelries after fishing for four huge black marlin. But this little guy wanted to stay at the Órganos resort, because the Russian woman used to stop in the jacuzzi at night and Vania was a ‘chicken’ and she liked to go to bed early.

‘I’ll wait for you at the jacu’, the flap told me in bad Spanish at dinner time. That night I made Vania drink several glasses of vodka, because I knew she was falling like a stone. And said and done, she fell asleep. I made a bit of time and went out on ‘the adventure’. I was about to enter the warm bathroom because the blonde told me ‘come, come, krasivaya (beautiful, in Russian)’, when Vania came running: ‘Come out immediately and let’s go to the room!’ Jealousy? If that Russian regalona was in Eva’s costume! In the room she yelled at me: ‘In addition, she came to tell you that one of those Russians is her husband and in confidence, when she was drinking vodka at the bar, she went off her mouth and confessed that she belonged to the Moscow mafia and still to me. He wanted to make me fall in love by showing me a wad of dollars. ‘ I shut myself up scared, but that did not mean that my traveling companion had ‘checked’ me with the Russian.

We left early to Puerto Pizarro, to the ‘Island of Love’. There again Vania made me another scene because there were some Australian gringas doing topless. ‘Hey, it’s not my fault, eyes were made to look!’, I replied. Then we move to the crocodile farm and taste a spectacular black shell risotto with prawns. On the walk through the mangroves we saw giant iguanas and we witnessed how the divers plunged into these thick waters to the bottom to extract the exquisite black shells. We also left the port in a boat to look for the whales. It was something spectacular to see them rise to the surface. Then we cross the border in Huaquillas. In four hours we reached Guayaquil, heading to the splendid resort of Salinas, where Vania gave me another row with the Ecuadorian women. But I fell short, next week I will continue ”. Pucha, that Chatito also has his stories. I’m leaving, take care.


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La Seño María: The flat in the north